When God Doesn't Seem to Answer

A while back I wrote a blog post titled “prayer works…no, really.” It was a great testimony of how God provided in a miraculous way, and to this day it’s still something I look back on as a faith builder. But, I re-read that post recently, and I think it’s lacking in theological truth and maturity. For some time now, I’ve been praying that God would increase my faith. I had visions of praying with power and seeing God move mightily in response; I never imagined the path of faith that God was going to take me down. 

My husband and I deal with infertility. We were blessed with a son after waiting several months, but we’re now waiting for baby number two. Each time I’ve been waiting for a baby, God has taught me a great deal about myself, and about Him. I’ve learned that I like to be in control (not shocking for anyone who knows me), and I’ve learned that God has plans that are bigger than just me. When we started this journey of trying to get pregnant again, I prayed and prayed, believing that God would heal me and we would be blessed with another baby. But, in spite of my best efforts to muster up all of the faith I could find, it wasn’t happening. Month after month I became frustrated and discouraged. I blamed my lack of faith, convinced I must not believe enough. What about all the verses in the bible that assure us that God hears our prayers, and that when we pray in faith he answers them?

I think a lot of people have struggled with this. At least, I’m like 97.8% sure I’m not the only Christian who’s been here. Have you ever asked yourself why God allowed x,y, or z to happen? Or, asked why God didn’t answer your heartfelt prayers in a time of need? Through this process, God has been teaching me a LOT. Funny how that works, isn’t it? When there’s something that we want that we don’t have the ability or control to make happen ourselves, we suddenly find ourselves seeking God more. This was the first lesson I learned:

TRIALS DRAW US CLOSER. I’m not going to claim to know God and his motives, but what if God loves us and desires relationship with us enough to withhold the very things that we want more than him? In times of frustration and disappointment, I’ve found the presence of God to be significantly more real and apparent to me. Perhaps that’s simply because I’m taking more time to seek God. If getting pregnant came easily to me, I don’t think I would have learned so much in these last few years. I would have been content to create the life that I wanted for myself, and thought much less about what God wanted for my life. This brings me to the next lesson I’ve been learning:

WHAT IF MY PLANS ARE INTERFERING WITH GOD’S PLANS? This one was one of the biggest eye openers for me. I was recently studying Matthew through Bible Study Fellowship (amazing program, by the way), and was struck by the idea that Peter was trying to interfere with God’s plan for the cross. He rebuked Jesus for talking about dying, and even when it was time for Jesus to be arrested, Peter was ready to fight. He just didn’t understand that his plans, and the things he thought were good and right, were actually trying to get in the way of God’s plans. I’m so thankful that God doesn’t always give us the things we want. He always has something greater in mind. We’re just not always able to see that at the time. There are countless stories in the bible that are clear examples of God’s protection and blessing, but they’re only clear after thousands of years worth of perspective. Perhaps my plan for having more children would get in the way of something else that God has planned. What if he has other ways he wants to be able to use me right now? As hard as it is to appreciate the blessings that I can’t yet see, God is teaching me to have faith that his plans are best for me. And this brings me to the greatest faith lesson of all:

FAITH IS ABOUT TRUSTING EVEN WHEN WE DON’T GET THE ANSWERS WE’RE SEEKING. I started out on this journey believing that faith was somehow about learning the magic formula for forcing God’s hand in the manner that I desired when I desired. I’ve since learned that faith is about knowing who God is, and trusting Him no matter what it seems he’s doing (or not doing). I’m learning to place my hope in who God is, not in what God does. I can have faith and believe, because I know that God is loving and faithful, and I know that his plans for me are good. I can have faith because I know that if God is withholding something I’m seeking, it’s because he has something even better he wants to give. That something better may not always come right away, and it may not look like I’m expecting. Sometimes, the something better is simply Him. When the result of my unanswered prayers is that my relationship with God is deepened and my character is developed, that’s a blessing in disguise. God’s focus is on eternity. The picture he sees is so much bigger than my perspective. He knows that my temporary disappointment is worth the outcome of a positive impact on something eternal. 

Real faith is hinged on continuing to believe even when God doesn’t seem to be answering. A faith that only believes because it’s constantly rewarded with the results it seeks is not faith at all. Like I said, not the journey of faith I was expecting. Do I still feel disappointed and sad sometimes? Absolutely! I still struggle with my desire for instant gratification, but it has helped me so much to change my focus. I dwell now on what God is doing in my life, and I’m working on making myself available to his plans while slowly letting go of my own. What has God taught you about faith?